Writing about mental health is both personal and political. I mainly write about the systemic barriers I face, such as access to timely, affordable, adequate and empathetic mental healthcare. Writing about mental health is an extension of my activist background. I use poetry and fiction, be it short stories or novels, to address systemic barriers. The novel I am currently revising focuses on mental-health emergency departments, and what happens when the system continually neglects people in crisis.
I’ve mainly had positive feedback on my writing, such as friends and strangers telling me that they felt heard in my work. People have used my writing to echo their frustration with the health care system. I find writing also helps people who have never tried to access mental-health resources understand some of the barriers folks may face.
Writing about mental health sometimes leaves me feeling vulnerable and I always check in with myself before writing or publishing on the topic. For instance, sometimes folks feel that because I’m honest about struggling with mental health, that they can ask me invasive questions. Friends and community are sometimes uncomfortable with my openness. Since I have published work, there’s no room to choose who I disclose to. I know that strangers, from potential employers, to future dates, can look up my name and see my mental health status. I’ve accepted this price, but sometimes struggle with feeling exposed. Even though I write about mental health, I still have the power to control what I share with people one on one, so sometimes I find myself re-directing people to the work, and stating that I don’t wish to talk about it further, which most people have respected. I am doing my part for mental health representation, but don’t feel the need to overexpose myself and share information that I’m not comfortable with. I am grateful that my writing is fictional and I do not feel that I owe my readers an explanation of where the text ends and my lived experiences starts.
I’ve experienced the positive impacts of writing about mental health journeys, of creating spaces to talk about lived experience, stigma, and barriers to resources. As a facilitator, I’ve found that people feel less alone when they have the opportunity to share their stories and struggles with mental health. That said, I’m more than my mental illness and I’m tired of writing sad stories; I’m tired of writing about health care and politics, I want to write about romance, friendships and dreams. When writing about mental health, I worry that this is the only narrative I think I can write about, or that my readers expect from me. I have so many other stories to tell.
Emily Gillespie