Ficiton/Memoir Workshop w/Kathy

Introduction

Today’s theme is fish-out-of-water stories. Take a look.

Examples of Fish-out-of-Water Stories:

Excerpt from “Valerie’s Bush,” by Nancy Jo Cullen, from her short-story collection, Canary:

(Posted with the kind permission of the author.)

The salon receptionist directed Valerie to a small studio near the back of the store. Peaceful sounds of piano and waterfalls were being piped into the room, lavender and sweet grass hung in the air. “Take off your pants and undies and place the sheet over your lap,” the receptionist said happily. “Oh, and the candles are soy.” She smiled, dimmed the lights and closed the door behind her.

Then the esthetician entered the room. Her blonde hair was pulled into a neat ponytail, the tips of her bangs a bright pink that matched the non-latex gloves she pulled on with a snap. She wore a white lab coat unbuttoned to reveal a firm, muscular body and surprisingly large knockers. Live, Laugh, Love was tattooed in script across her collarbone. Val reflexively touched her salt and pepper hair, which was cut short, a practical style suited to an urban farmer or nun. Vanity belonged to a paradigm Valerie rejected, but the lean esthetician, in her low-slung jeans and flat belly, made Val feel dried up, dull, and chubby. The esthetician stretched her arms over her head, a tattooed branch of cherry blossoms bloomed up her abdomen. She stepped toward Val.

  “Oh!” she exclaimed when she drew back the sheet to reveal Valerie’s hirsute mound. She dropped onto her stool, perplexed.

  Valerie stared at the ceiling. “It’s my first time,” she muttered.

“So what brought you in?” Ingrid asked. Now that she was closer, Valerie could read her name tag.

  “I thought it was time to switch things up,” Valerie answered.

  “Spice up the old relationship?”

  “That’s over.” Valerie tried not to have any inflection but her voice rose sharply as she pronounced the end of her relationship.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Ingrid consoled her, “Trust me, I know break-ups can be rough. Any kids?” 

  Valerie shook her head.

  “Well, that’s for the best, I suppose.”

  “We didn’t want kids,” Valerie said. “Except now she’s with someone who’s twelve years younger and they’re having a baby.”

  “That’s just cold,” Ingrid said.

Bonus Material: Check out this hilarious essay by the American humour writer David Sedaris about living in Paris and not speaking French.

Writing Exercise

Write about a time you felt like a fish out of water. Feel free to post your writing in the Comments section below.